You can't please to aim man and God at the same time.

Two blog posts in one day. I average two a month. But here is some desert for thought (as opposed to food seeing how this is the last for today, ha).

Through this growing process, people ask me to make future decisions, and i cant. People say so many things, and you can't aim to appease their need to know, or here things, or even meet their expectations because as humans we are not perfect. But who is? ... That is correct! God.

As of now I really have no idea what my life holds ahead of me, in any aspect. And I am excited, as well as encouraged, to embark on this great episode of my life, and come out as the man God intended me to be when he created me over 21 years ago.

***edit from last weeks post***

I am no longer "in a relationship" with anyone on any level more than a friend. I had a conversation with a new friend yesterday about a mans role in a relationship. Being the leader, having self control, setting the example. And placing God first. I have never done this in a relationship. And that is my main concern before i even begin to try and contemplate dating anyone at all. Without God at the forefront of everything that i pursue, especially in this area. I am just going to end up making the same mistakes i have before when trying to love someone.

Understanding Truely

As Christians, knowing what our role is, as humans from the beginning of our relationship with God, is understood. But, putting into actions these beliefs, principles, laws, commandments, and way of life is an entire different situation. Living for God is different from believing in God (and the Biblical Christian lifestyle). I have only believed in God. Never once truly and consistently lived for only God, and not myself (flesh and bones).

As of yesterday i started the book "Mere Christianity" by Clive Staples Lewis, better known as CS Lewis. This book is about explaining the fundamental teachings of Christianity, to be understood upon all levels. (I will expound more upon this book and subject in a later post)

I feel that God is finally doing something in my life that he always wanted me to commit to before, but i never had the desires too. I am not doing this to gain anything or anyone (outside of Christ), I as a man, had to give up the one person I thought have always loved more than myself (but i proved this wrong to myself through my selfish actions), and even my family at times, just to commit myself fully to God. I feel through this i have lost people, in good and bad ways, but from how i perceive it, this is God's plan and his way of challenging me. And i am fully ready to commit everything to him. I have never so rationally approached a relationship with God, or with a church family as i have been searching in the last year. Though the journey has had slight highs and extreme lows, i see this is a turning point in my relationship with him.

This is a huge turning point for myself, and our country as a whole. It is November 4th. The final voting day. And may God's will be done for us all. Because i have complete faith in whatever he will do for us. For if he can sacrifice his son. I believe that he fully will do what is best for America, and the world as a whole. We are his children and the sheep of his pasture. And like a father is to his children, sometimes we do have to get into trouble to learn a lesson, or get scolded for doing something that is wrong. But he loves us, and wants us to learn something from all of this. In a greater way than we can imagine.

It is hard not to get a lump in my throat when thinking and talking about all of this. But i have one thing to share about all of this that gives me peace in the morning, noon, and night. This verse is a small portion of the huge picture again... (I italicize this word to really emphasize how gigantic this is for us as humans to comprehend.) But this is the verse that came to mind..

Proverbs 16:3


I love you.

Happy Halloween

It is Halloween and I am working 13 hours today at your local neighborhood Starbucks Coffee shop. And do you know what is awesome? I do not care! There are alot of parties going on tonight, i am slightly tempted to maybe attend, (i never liked the terminology "make an appearance") but after today i think I will be looking forward to an in depth talk with my bed.

I got the new James Taylor Covers album, it is pretty good so far, just recently i became a James Taylor fan, i always liked other people's covers of his music, but never gave him a listen. It's really good. I really enjoy when driving around with my dad and we both are singing "Fire and Rain" together. :}

I am only on a 10 minute break right now though, and it ends in 3 minutes, so I don't want to get into too much of a rant. But i hope everyone if anyone that reads this has a great night, and stay safe. Or even come see me at work. If you brought me lunch...that would be the best. Ciao, everyone.

Peace, Love, and Warfare. - bshell.

Greatest feeling

I have never let my gates open as i did tonight, i can't even begin to explain.
i am happy.
i love you.

:)

Bold as Love

I am so completely happy. God never stops providing.

I am going to start a few short essays, on the subjects of "thought and thinking". And the other ones have slipped my mind on what the subject matter was.

i feel like a baby plant. i want to absorb more knowledge!!! someone please be my water and sunlight!

PeaceLoveWarfare

time after time

your words trace the corners of my mind like your tongue did the border of my lips when i held you closest. the fears turned into exaltation's of praise, hoping that truth would be poured upon our life as if a burst of fire from a dragons mouth scorching the last of many victims. you can feel sandpaper under your fingernails, as well as the armada of smiles that reside upon faces like stars splashed into the large black sky. dreary is the only way to explain what he could possibly be feeling. But based on his expression's he is on a whole different level. days turn to years, and minutes into nanoseconds.

Time is slipping away and you can not even begin to beguile yourself into knowing these things.

this is our life.

save what you can

Is Bobby too cynical? He is not denying the fact that he is. This is a fact in some folks eyes. But it seems to be that some relationships, with certain someones, can be so virulent that it tracks itself under his skin and monotonously eats his mental health to dust. Having schlepped this burden farther than he has ever intended, a new nomadic lifestyle is at reach. With so many harangues from his parents about what the smartest decisions in life ARE, he finally sits and thinks to himself on what his life desires truely consist of. With this phantasm of a lifestyle still only visible to himself he inadvertently....