Saving

I am very conservative. And people who know me close know this best. I am not cheap, but I save my money, I in a way live on a schedule. Not literally live on one, but i have a planner. I like doing things when i know it's beneficial. I save up so at the right moment or time I will be prepared for whatever is coming, and the best decision can be made.

If i feel this way about expenses, money, my own personal accounts... Then why don't i treat other peoples emotions and feelings the same way? If i am supposed to be this big strong "man", and i use that word lightly, why am I so so weak. (*) I am a very very loving person. It is the way i was raised since birth. My parents are still together unlike the cultural norm. I grew up with a Christian family, attended church, had a great group of friends, and lived the dream American lifestyle my entire life. We had, and have everything. We are blessed. I have had to earn everything for myself, and have a hard work ethic. But I can still feel in some corner beneath my flesh that there is something yet to be matured. I will never know what this is, but i have somewhat a feeling.

Oh well. I need to stop worrying so much, and live. Today has its own troubles. Love.




* Yes I am growing with God. But it seems anything and everything in the world is a distraction. And I guess this is fully true seeing how nothing of the world is of God, but a very select few things, most are made by man, and not glorifying him....but this is not a sermon, just my random thought to explain my reason i feel a certain way.