Humanity

The only way to get my homework done and comprehend what i am learning is too type this blog out that only 2-3 people will read. And by completing this homework will begin!


So lately I have been in the final steps of one of my many evolution/growth processes of my life. Once near losing certain things you think hard and evaluate your decisions before you irrationally act on them. And when it comes to my life I tend to do things on the spot, not thinking about the future, but just trying to satisfy the cravings of the moment. (to the reader you won't understand my exact situation at the moment. though the readers of this generally my closest friends i do have many situations with each of you within this subject realm) Although i never have any answers to anything it seems like, like every human I am always in a constant battle trying to live up to being a representation of Christ. Which by the way America is impossible. And to go back one sentence, I'll take back my "every human" and change that too "christian".

Secondly, I am in an extreme bind on a subject i do not prefer to talk about online because it could possibly escalate into something bigger when really I just need to let God handle it. It is very revealing knowing I have the most powerful thing in the world in control of my life, and taking care of me every step of the way. God is love.

We are in revolutionary times. If John Lennon were alive he would die to still be a peace activist. I would bet my mothers favorite diamonds on this. God is letting his wrath loose. And he is showing his grace in even more ways. I think some people miss this.

Peace, love and warfare. - Bobby

bye content, hello indifferent

Humans are full of more unsuccessful acts than successful. But through this as a world we become more educated, informed, and efficient. I for example am an immaculate example of for lack of a better word...stupid. But i enjoy a challenge, and i thrive to be in a pressure situation. To say the least, growing up is not a television sitcom that people laugh and clap for when a little red sign lights up that is located 27ft high hanging from the ceiling.

Next semester i have Managerial Finance, Operations Management, Consumer Behavior, and Prof Services Marketing. Should not be too killer of a schedule, I feel that i am doing fairly strong this semester, and I have aspirations to continue to grow and be even more successful when it comes to completely this degree.

Fall semester of 2010 I will be studying abroad for my Global Marketing major. And right when i finish that semester I will have 3 months (during that summer) to stay overseas to travel and maybe find a good job, or internship there, or come home and work 60 hours a week and save, because after that next fall semester I will be graduated and officially a college graduate (December 10, 2010)

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I am a man who loves quotes, really good quotes. And this one by Ralph Waldo Emerson (one of my favorite essayists and writers) is a very strong and inspiration piece of information i hold dearly in my heart.

Be not a slave of your own past. Plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep and swim far, so you shall come back with self-respect, with new power, with an advanced experience that shall explain and overlook the old. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

will or does society understand?

In the woods, we return to reason and faith. There I feel that nothing can befall me in life, -- no disgrace, no calamity, (leaving me my eyes,) which nature cannot repair. Standing on the bare ground, -- my head bathed by the blithe air, and uplifted into infinite space, -- all mean egotism vanishes. I become a transparent eye-ball; I am nothing; I see all; the currents of the Universal Being circulate through me; I am part or particle of God. The name of the nearest friend sounds then foreign and accidental: to be brothers, to be acquaintances, -- master or servant, is then a trifle and a disturbance. I am the lover of uncontained and immortal beauty. In the wilderness, I find something more dear and connate than in streets or villages. In the tranquil landscape, and especially in the distant line of the horizon, man beholds somewhat as beautiful as his own nature. - Emerson

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For if man from childhood, had no education or guidance, would he turn to the bright lights, and sophisticated lifestyle of "The American Dream"? Or would he lean toward the instincts of his primitive ancestors, proceed to make the reach out to nature, and his epidermal senses?

say never ever

i never ever wanted to make the love i share like a pendulum... This next video is sufficient for me, it is Led Zeppelin - Going to California.



I am impatient, yet fruitful.

Saving

I am very conservative. And people who know me close know this best. I am not cheap, but I save my money, I in a way live on a schedule. Not literally live on one, but i have a planner. I like doing things when i know it's beneficial. I save up so at the right moment or time I will be prepared for whatever is coming, and the best decision can be made.

If i feel this way about expenses, money, my own personal accounts... Then why don't i treat other peoples emotions and feelings the same way? If i am supposed to be this big strong "man", and i use that word lightly, why am I so so weak. (*) I am a very very loving person. It is the way i was raised since birth. My parents are still together unlike the cultural norm. I grew up with a Christian family, attended church, had a great group of friends, and lived the dream American lifestyle my entire life. We had, and have everything. We are blessed. I have had to earn everything for myself, and have a hard work ethic. But I can still feel in some corner beneath my flesh that there is something yet to be matured. I will never know what this is, but i have somewhat a feeling.

Oh well. I need to stop worrying so much, and live. Today has its own troubles. Love.




* Yes I am growing with God. But it seems anything and everything in the world is a distraction. And I guess this is fully true seeing how nothing of the world is of God, but a very select few things, most are made by man, and not glorifying him....but this is not a sermon, just my random thought to explain my reason i feel a certain way.

If i had one wish

I would wish that i understood why things happen. Why things change. Why people have different motives and beliefs. This has been one of the most intense weeks of my life. Almost each step i take i have no understanding of the next. I fall behind in everything but somehow keep up. We have a new leader of our country in a few months. I see everything my family has let go of. Our family had a separation that I have never spoken to anyone about, and through this my grandfather (paw paw) died August 15th and I just found out 2 days ago. There are so so many things left unanswered. I will never understand any of this. I am extreme, lost, confused, and content at the same time. I am not where i ever wanted to be or would have imagined. It's not great.

When you have no one. You in a way have the most understanding.

You can't please to aim man and God at the same time.

Two blog posts in one day. I average two a month. But here is some desert for thought (as opposed to food seeing how this is the last for today, ha).

Through this growing process, people ask me to make future decisions, and i cant. People say so many things, and you can't aim to appease their need to know, or here things, or even meet their expectations because as humans we are not perfect. But who is? ... That is correct! God.

As of now I really have no idea what my life holds ahead of me, in any aspect. And I am excited, as well as encouraged, to embark on this great episode of my life, and come out as the man God intended me to be when he created me over 21 years ago.

***edit from last weeks post***

I am no longer "in a relationship" with anyone on any level more than a friend. I had a conversation with a new friend yesterday about a mans role in a relationship. Being the leader, having self control, setting the example. And placing God first. I have never done this in a relationship. And that is my main concern before i even begin to try and contemplate dating anyone at all. Without God at the forefront of everything that i pursue, especially in this area. I am just going to end up making the same mistakes i have before when trying to love someone.