Humanity

The only way to get my homework done and comprehend what i am learning is too type this blog out that only 2-3 people will read. And by completing this homework will begin!


So lately I have been in the final steps of one of my many evolution/growth processes of my life. Once near losing certain things you think hard and evaluate your decisions before you irrationally act on them. And when it comes to my life I tend to do things on the spot, not thinking about the future, but just trying to satisfy the cravings of the moment. (to the reader you won't understand my exact situation at the moment. though the readers of this generally my closest friends i do have many situations with each of you within this subject realm) Although i never have any answers to anything it seems like, like every human I am always in a constant battle trying to live up to being a representation of Christ. Which by the way America is impossible. And to go back one sentence, I'll take back my "every human" and change that too "christian".

Secondly, I am in an extreme bind on a subject i do not prefer to talk about online because it could possibly escalate into something bigger when really I just need to let God handle it. It is very revealing knowing I have the most powerful thing in the world in control of my life, and taking care of me every step of the way. God is love.

We are in revolutionary times. If John Lennon were alive he would die to still be a peace activist. I would bet my mothers favorite diamonds on this. God is letting his wrath loose. And he is showing his grace in even more ways. I think some people miss this.

Peace, love and warfare. - Bobby

bye content, hello indifferent

Humans are full of more unsuccessful acts than successful. But through this as a world we become more educated, informed, and efficient. I for example am an immaculate example of for lack of a better word...stupid. But i enjoy a challenge, and i thrive to be in a pressure situation. To say the least, growing up is not a television sitcom that people laugh and clap for when a little red sign lights up that is located 27ft high hanging from the ceiling.

Next semester i have Managerial Finance, Operations Management, Consumer Behavior, and Prof Services Marketing. Should not be too killer of a schedule, I feel that i am doing fairly strong this semester, and I have aspirations to continue to grow and be even more successful when it comes to completely this degree.

Fall semester of 2010 I will be studying abroad for my Global Marketing major. And right when i finish that semester I will have 3 months (during that summer) to stay overseas to travel and maybe find a good job, or internship there, or come home and work 60 hours a week and save, because after that next fall semester I will be graduated and officially a college graduate (December 10, 2010)

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I am a man who loves quotes, really good quotes. And this one by Ralph Waldo Emerson (one of my favorite essayists and writers) is a very strong and inspiration piece of information i hold dearly in my heart.

Be not a slave of your own past. Plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep and swim far, so you shall come back with self-respect, with new power, with an advanced experience that shall explain and overlook the old. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

will or does society understand?

In the woods, we return to reason and faith. There I feel that nothing can befall me in life, -- no disgrace, no calamity, (leaving me my eyes,) which nature cannot repair. Standing on the bare ground, -- my head bathed by the blithe air, and uplifted into infinite space, -- all mean egotism vanishes. I become a transparent eye-ball; I am nothing; I see all; the currents of the Universal Being circulate through me; I am part or particle of God. The name of the nearest friend sounds then foreign and accidental: to be brothers, to be acquaintances, -- master or servant, is then a trifle and a disturbance. I am the lover of uncontained and immortal beauty. In the wilderness, I find something more dear and connate than in streets or villages. In the tranquil landscape, and especially in the distant line of the horizon, man beholds somewhat as beautiful as his own nature. - Emerson

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For if man from childhood, had no education or guidance, would he turn to the bright lights, and sophisticated lifestyle of "The American Dream"? Or would he lean toward the instincts of his primitive ancestors, proceed to make the reach out to nature, and his epidermal senses?

say never ever

i never ever wanted to make the love i share like a pendulum... This next video is sufficient for me, it is Led Zeppelin - Going to California.



I am impatient, yet fruitful.

Saving

I am very conservative. And people who know me close know this best. I am not cheap, but I save my money, I in a way live on a schedule. Not literally live on one, but i have a planner. I like doing things when i know it's beneficial. I save up so at the right moment or time I will be prepared for whatever is coming, and the best decision can be made.

If i feel this way about expenses, money, my own personal accounts... Then why don't i treat other peoples emotions and feelings the same way? If i am supposed to be this big strong "man", and i use that word lightly, why am I so so weak. (*) I am a very very loving person. It is the way i was raised since birth. My parents are still together unlike the cultural norm. I grew up with a Christian family, attended church, had a great group of friends, and lived the dream American lifestyle my entire life. We had, and have everything. We are blessed. I have had to earn everything for myself, and have a hard work ethic. But I can still feel in some corner beneath my flesh that there is something yet to be matured. I will never know what this is, but i have somewhat a feeling.

Oh well. I need to stop worrying so much, and live. Today has its own troubles. Love.




* Yes I am growing with God. But it seems anything and everything in the world is a distraction. And I guess this is fully true seeing how nothing of the world is of God, but a very select few things, most are made by man, and not glorifying him....but this is not a sermon, just my random thought to explain my reason i feel a certain way.

If i had one wish

I would wish that i understood why things happen. Why things change. Why people have different motives and beliefs. This has been one of the most intense weeks of my life. Almost each step i take i have no understanding of the next. I fall behind in everything but somehow keep up. We have a new leader of our country in a few months. I see everything my family has let go of. Our family had a separation that I have never spoken to anyone about, and through this my grandfather (paw paw) died August 15th and I just found out 2 days ago. There are so so many things left unanswered. I will never understand any of this. I am extreme, lost, confused, and content at the same time. I am not where i ever wanted to be or would have imagined. It's not great.

When you have no one. You in a way have the most understanding.

You can't please to aim man and God at the same time.

Two blog posts in one day. I average two a month. But here is some desert for thought (as opposed to food seeing how this is the last for today, ha).

Through this growing process, people ask me to make future decisions, and i cant. People say so many things, and you can't aim to appease their need to know, or here things, or even meet their expectations because as humans we are not perfect. But who is? ... That is correct! God.

As of now I really have no idea what my life holds ahead of me, in any aspect. And I am excited, as well as encouraged, to embark on this great episode of my life, and come out as the man God intended me to be when he created me over 21 years ago.

***edit from last weeks post***

I am no longer "in a relationship" with anyone on any level more than a friend. I had a conversation with a new friend yesterday about a mans role in a relationship. Being the leader, having self control, setting the example. And placing God first. I have never done this in a relationship. And that is my main concern before i even begin to try and contemplate dating anyone at all. Without God at the forefront of everything that i pursue, especially in this area. I am just going to end up making the same mistakes i have before when trying to love someone.

Understanding Truely

As Christians, knowing what our role is, as humans from the beginning of our relationship with God, is understood. But, putting into actions these beliefs, principles, laws, commandments, and way of life is an entire different situation. Living for God is different from believing in God (and the Biblical Christian lifestyle). I have only believed in God. Never once truly and consistently lived for only God, and not myself (flesh and bones).

As of yesterday i started the book "Mere Christianity" by Clive Staples Lewis, better known as CS Lewis. This book is about explaining the fundamental teachings of Christianity, to be understood upon all levels. (I will expound more upon this book and subject in a later post)

I feel that God is finally doing something in my life that he always wanted me to commit to before, but i never had the desires too. I am not doing this to gain anything or anyone (outside of Christ), I as a man, had to give up the one person I thought have always loved more than myself (but i proved this wrong to myself through my selfish actions), and even my family at times, just to commit myself fully to God. I feel through this i have lost people, in good and bad ways, but from how i perceive it, this is God's plan and his way of challenging me. And i am fully ready to commit everything to him. I have never so rationally approached a relationship with God, or with a church family as i have been searching in the last year. Though the journey has had slight highs and extreme lows, i see this is a turning point in my relationship with him.

This is a huge turning point for myself, and our country as a whole. It is November 4th. The final voting day. And may God's will be done for us all. Because i have complete faith in whatever he will do for us. For if he can sacrifice his son. I believe that he fully will do what is best for America, and the world as a whole. We are his children and the sheep of his pasture. And like a father is to his children, sometimes we do have to get into trouble to learn a lesson, or get scolded for doing something that is wrong. But he loves us, and wants us to learn something from all of this. In a greater way than we can imagine.

It is hard not to get a lump in my throat when thinking and talking about all of this. But i have one thing to share about all of this that gives me peace in the morning, noon, and night. This verse is a small portion of the huge picture again... (I italicize this word to really emphasize how gigantic this is for us as humans to comprehend.) But this is the verse that came to mind..

Proverbs 16:3


I love you.