Ever think.....

that you would be the person that would turn to things you hated to try and deal with heartbreaking issues? maybe all motivation to live, and be successful shot out the door, because you had so much of yourself invested into someone that held your heart, or something that you had a deep passion and love for doing? lately that is how i feel. I do not understand how my Christian friends, or better yet acquaintances, either A) witnessing to me like I have never heard of God before, as if I am a lost soul needing to know the Lord. Or B) Just flat out don't give a shit to grow with other Christians because their life is way to busy, or they do not take me serious. Both of these maybe not be true at all. But this is how i broke alot of it down. I have not slept in about 31 hours, I am probably just losing my head a bit. Blah Blah Blah. No need to bring presents to my pitty party. hahaha, just venting a little bit.

always going

So often lately i feel that i do not even deserve God's grace. And then I think again....I really do not even deserve it at all. And that is the beauty of it. I know i sin constantly. And it is sad to see how many people are not open about the fact that they do, or try to hide it, but really not a soul on this earth is right, correct, perfect, or anywhere near having the right to judge another. And this sentence is a perfect example of itself. Maybe people are open to the fact they sin. Not necessarily with me, or you. But with God. There is so much more to everything than we can see. It is really a joke to try and come to some kind of earthly understanding of something we did not create, or understand from the beginning. Is that not where faith comes in? If we really were supposed to know "scientific meaning" or fact of the earth, why did the first men from earth not record it somehow in their own language, and it get translated down the line? We were born with minds, so there was somehow a form of communication. God is really the only way I can imagine. And i love studying the atheist view and other belief's or non-belief's.

Sorry for that tangent at the end. So many people you feel are the best friends, are never around anymore, and so many people you thought never would be close again will come back. It is a cycle. We are human, needs, emotions, and wants change. Nothing is forever, (except for diamonds apparently). So why be satisfied with the thing of the world. When God never has left?

Here is a great blog to look at by Jamie Prip a pastor from up Minnesota: http://jamieprip.blogspot.com/2009/01/there-must-be-more.html

got this from a blog i follow

I read this on a website today and wanted to pass it along!
Blessings,
Jamie

Ever wonder what would happen if we treated our Bible like we treat our cell phone?

What if we carried it around in our purses or pockets?

What if we flipped through it several time a day?

What if we turned back to go get it if we forgot it?

What if we used it to receive messages from the text?

What if we treated it like we couldn't live without it?

What if we gave it to kids as gifts?

What if we used it when we traveled?

What if we used it in case of emergency?

This is something to make you go... hmm... where is my Bible?

Oh, and one more thing....... Unlike our cell phone, we don't have to worry about our Bible being disconnected because Jesus already paid the bill.

And no dropped calls!

Alot

This is the first post I am making with our new President, Barack Obama. So many things have happened in the last 48 hours, and even more since December 31st. My life has spun in so many circles, gone forward, gone backward, and even side to side. I never have the slightest idea where God is directing me. But am I honestly supposed to know? I think not. But it's ok. The fact I know I can confide in the Lord, and know that regardless of who leads our country, or whatever girl I end up spending my life with, he has that complete control. And it is the most supreme feeling in my eyes.

I really could write out about 5,000 words explaining the madness of lately, but it would really not lead to too much. But to say the least that means the most, just trust the Lord. Everything falls together like a puzzle rather than a crashing economy. Lol. Here is some good scripture that I hope will help someone else in their time of troubles, just as it did myself. Same verse, different traslations...


He who heeds the word wisely will find good,
And whoever trusts in the LORD, happy is he.
---Proverbs 16:20 (New King James Version)

Those who listen to instruction will prosper;
those who trust the Lord will be joyful.
---Proverbs 16:20 (New Living Translation)

Outlook

Living pure is the only way to understand true meaning. Obscurities, and false distractions of life's purpose have become the mecca of the earthly demise of man. Everything on earth is made of very basic, yet complex elements. Many of these understood, and many more yet to be discovered. Man will never know the underlying meaning behind science, mathematics, or anything of any nature. We have philosophies, as well as theories to help prescribe meaning, as well as understanding. But each day is a practice in hopes to discover the root, of being that is as evident as color reveals itself to our eyes.

If wishes came true

I would wish for a ploc chart of decision making in life. There is so much going on. It is funny how when in school, my life is so hectic, study, class, study, work. Every day for 3 months. And when i get out of school, it is constant Bible study, and growing with God. I know the Lord wants me to concentrate on school, but as his child I do need to set him first. Such a challenge for me.

So everyone go listen to Paul Simon and feel as lighthearted and as lovely as I do at this moment. As well as some Peter Paul and Mary. There song is on my page right now, and prob will be for a week at the most. So check it now!

*Hey Jesus, sorry I study so much, i promise i never forget about you. I love you much. And thank you. For everything!*

Antonio Apap

"If someone lies to you once, shame on them. If they lie to you again, shame on you! A person would have to be a damn fool to trust someone who has lied to them before."

let me just explain

When learning something new or trying to succeed at something do you ever give up if you really want it to work? Say your goal was too make 7 free throws out of 10 on a basketball goal. But on your first attempt you can only make 3 of ten. Once this happens do you give up? What reason do you have to give up other than maybe you are just a lazy person? This is the goal you set for yourself so why not strive and work towards it? So 3 weeks later after practicing your heart out you end up making the 7 out of 10 which was your goal. Congratulations! Was there anything negative that came out of this? I would say no...

When learning something new or trying to succeed at something do you ever give up if you really want it to work? Say your goal was to stick your a paper clip in an electric socket and to not get any shock whatsoever. Is this a goal? Yes. Is it attainable? No. Why do we as humans still attempt to make things work and try over and over again when we get the same result? I honestly have no idea. Maybe a sense of hope, or the chance of it working? Maybe the thrill of the gamble? It gets to the point of stupidity. When you repeat the same process over and over (say 3-4 years for instance) and get the same results, what is there to test again?

I learned this in a harsh way. I usually have to do things wrong, or experience them wrong anywhere from 3-5 times to really be shut down. And this has happened yet again still standing as a truth about myself.

The thing is when it comes to love, you do not need to ask yourself a new question. The same question lies for everyone. Different people do seek different answers to this question. But in the end we all want success. Unless our selfish minds detour us into desiring something that contains no positive aftermath. So with this being said, as opposed to asking a new question, we need to just find a new subject to test.

Simple, eh?....


And on a side note. I regret so many things, not that i have done. But that i did not do. Regret is real, viable, alive, and in your face. Live your life.